Hello guys and dolls-
It’s time for yet another pants-wetting instalment of my blog. How you soil yourself is none of my concern, nor do I want the details…
As you know, I’m exiting a rather lengthy relationship. The reorganisation of threads once knotted is running fairly smoothly and an appointment with the folks that do the paperwork on such matters will occur tomorrow afternoon. I like the ball rolling. I believe he does too. It’s really a friendly divorce- nothing of note in the way of fights, possessives, or snippityness… it’s so far a pleasant experience if you’ve got to have it done. No divorce is enjoyable- Gee, take 10 years, live and love and come out of the tunnel saying, “shit- that wasn’t what I thought it’d be…” So, a keen effort- no- more like an exercise in will and longevity was had. We both won and we both lost. So it goes. Put your bits back into the Yahtzee can of life and shake it out again someplace else.
I think the strangest thing I’ve encountered thus far in the transition to ‘single’ is the personal space angle. He’s moved upstairs, I’ve remained downstairs. This works out pretty well most of the time, but my Mac and other office bits are in the living room… the ‘common’ area. This, I find, causes me distress. I like my time alone there so when he sits down in the living room, which should be neutral as Switzerland in the house, I find my comfort boundaries invaded. I feel stress. I still love this fella as a friend and such… don’t be stupid… but- after you’ve made the step towards separation, and still find that person still in your immediate radar- well, it’s not comfortable no matter how good the terms of divorce are. It’s nature. Nature will always win in a game of chicken or chance. Nature has cruel and interesting ways of fucking with you. I believe he feels a similar pressure… there is a tactile chill in the room when he attempts to settle in for some tv or to snarf down a snack. That whore of emotional unrest, Nature, is busy at work in those moments. I can’t explain it properly perhaps, but at least you are still reading. *smile*
I bought more items for my adventure in the fall. I’ve grabbed some clothing off the sale racks and am looking at my luggage requirements. I’ve never flown overseas but am actually not stressed about it. I’m unbelievably thrilled, as a matter of fact. The only thing that gives me a tiny vibration of reservation is that I’ll be flying near elections here in the states. I doubt anything will happen, and I’ll likely have to travel nearly nude due to increased security in those sensitive days prior to Bush getting his last chance at stealing souvenirs from his illegitimate stay at the Whitehouse. I feel pretty confident that all that is meant to be well will be. No problemo kids. regularjen will post from o’er the pond as soon as she lands… and finds a broadband connection to weasel in on… *wink*
I hear that I’ve got a date to a Ross Noble gig to look forward to when I arrive- I am sooo excited about that! He’s a damn funny man…
England here I come…
Other items of note, (or not), I got the latest Keane CD. “Hopes and Fears.” I dig it. That’s my review…
Oh- and my injuries from the motorcycle ‘crash’ are healing in freakishly speedy time. It’s welcome as I feel like a bowl of gelatin-based dessert from my modified yoga routine. Yoga is damn tough if you can’t bend your knees! It’s all coming back though… I’m getting the bendy bits back…
smooches of calliope jubilance-
jEN