Hello guys and dolls-

It’s time for yet another pants-wetting instalment of my blog. How you soil yourself is none of my concern, nor do I want the details…

As you know, I’m exiting a rather lengthy relationship. The reorganisation of threads once knotted is running fairly smoothly and an appointment with the folks that do the paperwork on such matters will occur tomorrow afternoon. I like the ball rolling. I believe he does too. It’s really a friendly divorce- nothing of note in the way of fights, possessives, or snippityness… it’s so far a pleasant experience if you’ve got to have it done. No divorce is enjoyable- Gee, take 10 years, live and love and come out of the tunnel saying, “shit- that wasn’t what I thought it’d be…” So, a keen effort- no- more like an exercise in will and longevity was had. We both won and we both lost. So it goes. Put your bits back into the Yahtzee can of life and shake it out again someplace else.

I think the strangest thing I’ve encountered thus far in the transition to ‘single’ is the personal space angle. He’s moved upstairs, I’ve remained downstairs. This works out pretty well most of the time, but my Mac and other office bits are in the living room… the ‘common’ area. This, I find, causes me distress. I like my time alone there so when he sits down in the living room, which should be neutral as Switzerland in the house, I find my comfort boundaries invaded. I feel stress. I still love this fella as a friend and such… don’t be stupid… but- after you’ve made the step towards separation, and still find that person still in your immediate radar- well, it’s not comfortable no matter how good the terms of divorce are. It’s nature. Nature will always win in a game of chicken or chance. Nature has cruel and interesting ways of fucking with you. I believe he feels a similar pressure… there is a tactile chill in the room when he attempts to settle in for some tv or to snarf down a snack. That whore of emotional unrest, Nature, is busy at work in those moments. I can’t explain it properly perhaps, but at least you are still reading. *smile*

I bought more items for my adventure in the fall. I’ve grabbed some clothing off the sale racks and am looking at my luggage requirements. I’ve never flown overseas but am actually not stressed about it. I’m unbelievably thrilled, as a matter of fact. The only thing that gives me a tiny vibration of reservation is that I’ll be flying near elections here in the states. I doubt anything will happen, and I’ll likely have to travel nearly nude due to increased security in those sensitive days prior to Bush getting his last chance at stealing souvenirs from his illegitimate stay at the Whitehouse. I feel pretty confident that all that is meant to be well will be. No problemo kids. regularjen will post from o’er the pond as soon as she lands… and finds a broadband connection to weasel in on… *wink*
I hear that I’ve got a date to a Ross Noble gig to look forward to when I arrive- I am sooo excited about that! He’s a damn funny man…
England here I come…

Other items of note, (or not), I got the latest Keane CD. “Hopes and Fears.” I dig it. That’s my review…

Oh- and my injuries from the motorcycle ‘crash’ are healing in freakishly speedy time. It’s welcome as I feel like a bowl of gelatin-based dessert from my modified yoga routine. Yoga is damn tough if you can’t bend your knees! It’s all coming back though… I’m getting the bendy bits back…

smooches of calliope jubilance-
jEN

Good morning kitties…
Welcome to a new post from my blog. I’ve actually got plenty to say lately, but strangely no desire to say it. I could attribute that apathy to my current experiment in sleep deprivation, my freakish array of subjects that I’m studying lately, or the tumultuous upsets in my personal life during the past couple of months.
Without a doubt, this has got to be the most thrilling and frightening ride of my puny existence thus far!

So, here’s what’s been happening… (feign mild interest and I just might keep typing)

My marriage of 8+ years is ending. It’s ok, dear readers. I don’t need a hug over it. We’re friends, amicable, and mutual in our decision to let the sham go. It wanted to be a good marriage, and it had it’s moments, to be sure, but as young lovers often take years to understand: a slew of commons interests combined with raging hormones, do not a lasting marital bond make.
We’re handling the legalities ourselves. It should be fairly painless. We’re going to look into the possibility of speeding up the 120 day waiting period until finalisation due to my next exciting event:

I’m on a plane bound for Heathrow in the late fall. I’m stoked in ways you can’t fathom unless you’ve gone on such an adventure! I have wanted to visit the UK all of my cognisant life. As a child, I had a near obsession for the isles. I knew a bizarre amount of details relating to Medieval events, attire and traditions. I created highly detailed drawings on various armour styles and constructed a 3’x3′ castle from sugar-cubes… I think I have a cobblestone fetish… I’ve been attracted to the land and it’s rich offerings culturally and spiritually since I was a aware of it’s existence. Now I’m going. I am at a point in my life where opportunity knocks in this manner but once- I’m clamping down tightly and not letting this ride pass me by. Wish me luck!

And lastly in the series of recent events: I’m recovering from a nasty little motorcycle crash. I should truly call it an accident, but in my training class the instructor made it clear that ‘accident’ is more akin to an act of god rather than a ‘preventable event:’ i.e. crash. I assure you, this was borderline ‘act of god.’ I was certainly not in control of my own destiny for those brief seconds! Fortunately, I had the ‘crash’ during the Motorcycle Safety class… convenient that. So, why the fuck was I there? Well kids, I’ve got a Vespa scooter which I had ridden plenty last summer with a temporary license. I was on the waiting list for the MS class and needed the certification of completion to turn into the DMV office. Doing so would allow me to bypass the traditional ‘fly or die’ course test there. I wanted to learn to operate a basic motorcycle anyway, so the class seemed like an excellent idea…
At the time, I was doing well. I was complimented for my balance ability, my forward vision, my peripheral attention. What sealed my doom was the additional complexity of using all four extremities to operate the basic forward motion of the vehicle. I gave up playing drum-set for the same lack of confidence… I was always ‘first chair’ percussion and a mighty fine snare player, however, ask all four limbs to skillfully articulate independent movements and I’m fucked.
That’s precisely what occurred on the motorcycle. You see, the Vespa is a new one and an automatic transmission. This leaves little room for error on my part and quite frankly is a low stress environment. The motorcycle was a drum-set all over again. I was doing quite well until a slight increase in speed threw all that I had learned thus far straight out the window. I had a complete evacuation of all that I had learned about controlling the bike. Clutch this, friction zone that, downshifting and brakes, left, right, throttle… I panicked. I remember two options: dump the bike or hit the guard-rail that was rapidly pulling into focus. I dumped the bike. I used my left knee to mostly break my acceleration as I tumbled onto the rough pavement. I had been a skateboarder for many years in my not so distant youth and knew how to fall instinctively. My helmeted head never made contact, but that was made up for by all the soft bits of my body.
Long narrative short: I skinned out close to two inches diameter worth of flesh to the knee cap of my left leg, impressively scabbed up numerous places on my body, managed to bruise the areas both with scab-action and without, and lost a good pair of Doc Marten shoelaces to the paramedics scissors. Oh- and I failed the class. (Like we didn’t see that coming…)
I’m doing pretty well. I took my stitches out last Saturday. (I have stitch scissors.) I am limping much less. My leftover Vicodin is now reserved for my recreational desires and I have begun modified yoga again. Not bad for having experienced the ‘crash’ on June 30th…

That’s all for now… should be plenty really. I’ll pop in for a post again soon. I’m regaining the desire to write to my blog, so I will. Suffer children…

Adoringly yours in smooches,
jEN